Elf@Wine

Nothing seems on the right track since the 16th of march. i really wonder what happen. on the 16th march, i’ve received the worst gift of my life. a gift which i cant dispose, cant throw out of my head. what i could do is to swallow it. the pain is still there after a month. but life never gets easier after that. had a row with my employer about my termination of service. since then, working is never fun anymore although i still have a group of good colleagues/friends. it wasnt the worst. i went for an uni interview. we were given a chemistry quiz and i and my friend actually discussed on the quiz given. so, basically our answers were the same. when i thought everything is going oo-kay, my friend received the offer letter, conversely, i had to rush to the capital to sit for the quiz again. reasons: nobody knows. i couldnt get this right but what can i do beside going for the quiz once again. i’ll be thankful if this puts an end to my awe. its getting more and more stunning one after another. i was totally speechless when i knew my admission to NUS was rejected yesterday night. i have nobody to turn to so i decided to throw up everything here. ah-ha, my blog has now become trash bin. retrospective a month back, i realise i havent been happy for a day, i mean a full 24 hrs. every now and then theres something for me to frown. regardless its about my work here or about my tertiary education. maybe thats the price that i have to pay for not doing well in my exams. the only consolation prize is that i’ve finally won over the ‘fight’ for my freedom. haha. 3 more days to go and im going back for good. im still trying hard to withstand whatever preposterous incident that had already happen or going to happen to me. im tired of all these. i wonder when can i not throw unhappiness, sorrow and frust into my ‘trash bin’.

Its a nice thursday morning when i woke up. the feeling is nice because i dont have to work today and im meeting my friends in jb. looking forward for that, i took the morning bus with my friend to jb. had quite a lot of fun there, shouting aimlessly at the microphones in red-box, laughed our belly out watching ice age on a damn big screen and strolled around not buying anything. thats what we do today. the bad feeling is still there, i name it "post-16th of March-syndrome". uni admission stuff is still my main concern. everything seems not on the right track. maybe my results is not good enough to secure a place in a good uni opting a good course. is it all about a piece of paper when im 19 to determine where im heading to? who to blame but to blame myself for the bad results. working here is another thing. this kind of job is certainly not my cup of tea. im getting tired of it and yet i cant leave. they want my uni admission letter and im facing problems to get 1. i just simply want to leave singapore, go for a nice holiday to really rest myself. give myself a good rest before i face the final verdict in may/june. i suppose its going to be another blow and im starting to give myself a good mental preparation for it. maybe life is not all about exams and results but to me for the time being, its very important to me.Haih………………………..Mariah and Whitney sang "there can be miracle, when you believe". im going to believe but will there really be miracle? hopefully the 2 divas can sound it as a fact and im sure i can only hope for miracle now. right?